A certain kind of bike rider

I gotta tell ya, I gotta beef with  a certain kind of bike rider in the City You know what I mean? Of course you do! I am not talking about the green folks careening up and down Milwaukee at 30 mph in heavy traffic when i am going no where in my auto.  I am talking about a specific son of a rich guy, I know his name is Richard, on Michigan Ave this afternoon.  This is the guy with the bike shorts, plastic shirt, helmet and a personal need to expose his tight buttocks (my gal's observation.) There were at least a million people on the Mag Mile today for Black Friday (is that politically correct?) This Schwinndouche comes riding through the cross walk (that looks like a swarm of fire ants on a forced march) at about 16 miles an hours. It is a gridlock of humanity. He slows almost imperceptibly, taps his brakes, and miraculously slips through this mass of humanity and gives me the look like I am in his way.  Sorry, nip load, there are no bike paths in Streeterville, this is a crosswalk and the next time you do this I am making sure we give you a wide berth so you can get t-boned by the Express Bus to Union Station. No leftovers for you.  And that's my Best Chicago Beef for today.