WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LICENSE REQUIRED TO BE HERE!

"Ah, Lower Wacker Drive — that shortcut of the cognoscenti, that terror of the tourist, that boon to the Hollywood chase-scene location scout — how we missed you." - Barbara Brotman, Chicago Tribune, December 3, 2012

I am the king of the cognoscenti for LW (Lower Wacker).  I own it!  I waited every day for 30 months for it to be reopened.  We bought in downtown Chi-Town because of it. 

So now, I know what you are thinking, WTF?  I hope he doesn't mean "What the Fuck?"  Is that appropriate?  Yes, WHAT THE FUCK!. (sorry Mom)  I have changed the rules today.  If you are offended then go away. I don't care if you care.  Driving on LW is a privilege! It is for people that live here, pay the exorbitant taxes and don't have the time to follow you shits.  So unless you are willing to pay $20 bucks a time, then stay up top!  Actually, never mind, you are not welcome!.

So today, I exit from Congress Avenue to THE Wacker Drives.  I make the hard right downhill turn under Congress and then up to the UW and LW split. I go left with the Harrison merge and drop into LW.  Green lights is all I can see (the rest is totally blind if you have never driven it.) I just pass some suburbanite going 23 mph. I accelerate to 55 mph (like all serious Chicagoans do.)  I am obeying everything but the 35 mph speed limit. As I get close to the Jackson turnaround light, a TOTAL out of state, non-welcome, mother-f'er prick makes an ILLEGAL turn directly in front of me. I put all 205 svelte pounds of me on the brakes, make a quick swerve right and miss hitting him by about 10 feet at zero mph.  He gives me a quick, I'm sorry wave regarding his illegal turn.  I give him a LONG honk and a one finger WTFMF.

I feel better now but still think you need a license or a Chicago parking permit to even be there.

And that's my Best Chicago Beef.