Monday, May 13, 2013
Lots of Illinois Stuff (shit)
Are your kidding me? What is there not to complain about? Are you from Illinois Pat Quinn? What a piece of bowel movement. He only was voted into office by FOUR (4) of the Illinois' 102 counties. He is supporting concealed carry for weapons and he supports President Obama. My Chicago taxes are crazy. We had a 60% increase in taxes two years ago. We are still underwater 5 years after we invested in this town. Things are good.....Not MFs.
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LICENSE REQUIRED TO BE HERE!
"Ah, Lower Wacker Drive — that shortcut of the cognoscenti, that terror of the tourist, that boon to the Hollywood chase-scene location scout — how we missed you." - Barbara Brotman, Chicago Tribune, December 3, 2012
I am the king of the cognoscenti for LW (Lower Wacker). I own it! I waited every day for 30 months for it to be reopened. We bought in downtown Chi-Town because of it.
So now, I know what you are thinking, WTF? I hope he doesn't mean "What the Fuck?" Is that appropriate? Yes, WHAT THE FUCK!. (sorry Mom) I have changed the rules today. If you are offended then go away. I don't care if you care. Driving on LW is a privilege! It is for people that live here, pay the exorbitant taxes and don't have the time to follow you shits. So unless you are willing to pay $20 bucks a time, then stay up top! Actually, never mind, you are not welcome!.
So today, I exit from Congress Avenue to THE Wacker Drives. I make the hard right downhill turn under Congress and then up to the UW and LW split. I go left with the Harrison merge and drop into LW. Green lights is all I can see (the rest is totally blind if you have never driven it.) I just pass some suburbanite going 23 mph. I accelerate to 55 mph (like all serious Chicagoans do.) I am obeying everything but the 35 mph speed limit. As I get close to the Jackson turnaround light, a TOTAL out of state, non-welcome, mother-f'er prick makes an ILLEGAL turn directly in front of me. I put all 205 svelte pounds of me on the brakes, make a quick swerve right and miss hitting him by about 10 feet at zero mph. He gives me a quick, I'm sorry wave regarding his illegal turn. I give him a LONG honk and a one finger WTFMF.
I feel better now but still think you need a license or a Chicago parking permit to even be there.
And that's my Best Chicago Beef.
I am the king of the cognoscenti for LW (Lower Wacker). I own it! I waited every day for 30 months for it to be reopened. We bought in downtown Chi-Town because of it.
So now, I know what you are thinking, WTF? I hope he doesn't mean "What the Fuck?" Is that appropriate? Yes, WHAT THE FUCK!. (sorry Mom) I have changed the rules today. If you are offended then go away. I don't care if you care. Driving on LW is a privilege! It is for people that live here, pay the exorbitant taxes and don't have the time to follow you shits. So unless you are willing to pay $20 bucks a time, then stay up top! Actually, never mind, you are not welcome!.
So today, I exit from Congress Avenue to THE Wacker Drives. I make the hard right downhill turn under Congress and then up to the UW and LW split. I go left with the Harrison merge and drop into LW. Green lights is all I can see (the rest is totally blind if you have never driven it.) I just pass some suburbanite going 23 mph. I accelerate to 55 mph (like all serious Chicagoans do.) I am obeying everything but the 35 mph speed limit. As I get close to the Jackson turnaround light, a TOTAL out of state, non-welcome, mother-f'er prick makes an ILLEGAL turn directly in front of me. I put all 205 svelte pounds of me on the brakes, make a quick swerve right and miss hitting him by about 10 feet at zero mph. He gives me a quick, I'm sorry wave regarding his illegal turn. I give him a LONG honk and a one finger WTFMF.
I feel better now but still think you need a license or a Chicago parking permit to even be there.
And that's my Best Chicago Beef.
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