Convention Buses

I gotta tell you I got a beef with Convention Buses. You know what I mean? Of course you do! We are not talking commuter buses here.  We are talking about the behemoths that are 14 feet tall and 12 feet wide that park illegally with their engines running, pumping out exhaust without any regard to people that have to get out of their way. These are the ones that line up, one in front of the other and drive from hotel to hotel picking up and dropping off conventioners from McCormick Place.  They bring traffic to a complete standstill, run cars off the road and make wide turns without regard to pedestrians. Total losers.  Just last night we are getting into a cab and a big white one of thes suckers pulls up besides us with his right turn blinker on. We are between him and the curb and he starts to turn.  The cabbie is honking his horm becase we are about 2 inches apart.  Finally he sees us and straightens out a bit. The cab driver immediately pulls out a large, wide tipped Magic Marker and draws a wavy line all the way down the length of the bus as it pulls past us.  We all felt better after that.  And that's my Best Chicago Beef.

Road Construction

I gotta tell you I got a beef with road construction. You know what I mean? Of course you do! Isn't it December?  Shouldn't it be done?  Isn't there a law? Aren't we allowed a brief respite until April when it starts again?  Jeezfreakinlouise! I certainly think so but apparently someone forgot to tell the road crew at Lake and Ogden.  They were all having coffee and a smoke at 8am this morning. They got their orange cones bringing four lanes down to one way only.  No possible reason except to cost hundreds of cars an extra five minutes. So what did I do.  What we all want to do.  I dialed 911and reported a robbery in progress.  I described two of them in detail.   It felt good and I'm sure they'll think twice about it tomorrow morning.  Losers.  And that's my Best Chicago Beef.

BCS Sucks

I gotta tell you I got a beef with the BCS. You know what I mean? Of course you do! You, me and 150,000,000 football fans.  For those of you who don't know, the BCS is a poorly contrived conceptual formula to match the top 2 teams in College Football at the end of the Bowl Season to play for the National Championship. Who is the best?  Simple. Every team plays in a conference and every conference has a champion.  You then take the two winners of the two strongest conferences with the best records and they play each other.  Huh? Sounds simple enough. Who the hell wants to see two teams that have already played each other play again? Only corrupt BCS officials and Bama fans. Seriously, only Bama fans (sorry Cuz.)  The SEC is so special...special to themselves.  We want to see a very strong offensive team play LSU.  That is not Bama.  Maybe if we want to see field goals but not touchdowns.  How good are the Tigers really?  We will never know and the BCS will continue to suck until there is no reality left.  Go Tigers, Wax Bama. Go Pokes score a hundred. And that's my Best Chicago Beef.

Winter in General

I gotta tell you I got a beef with Winter in general. You know what I mean? Of course you do! I am sitting here in Denver looking out the hotel window. It's cloudy, 11 degrees, 6 inches of new snow and a 20 mph wind. Beautiful right? Wrong. It a mess out there. One quick trip to Starbuck's and your feet are wet and there is snow in your gloves from brushing off your car. You slip and slide to the store with your wipers doing nothing but smearing ice back and forth in front of your eyes. You get your coffee and then you do it again. Doesn't matter where you are. Cold is cold. Wet is wet. Winter in the North is Winter. Time to fly south permanently. And that's my Best Chicago Beef from Denver.